May 20, 2009

Deal Breakers

Once upon a time, this blog was as much about Kimberly's life adventures as the food she was cooking. I've gotten away from that somewhat, and even though I've wanted to write about my new job and reentrance into the dating scene, I've avoided it. We're all so connected online these days - not a bad thing in itself - but even in a small town like Lubbock where only a handful of people know how to use the Internet, the chances I'd face repercussions for something I wrote is great. See, I bet that offended someone.

I think dating discussions are great fodder, especially in regards to dating horror stories. I used to get set up on blind dates pretty frequently, and it was fun to relate the "Guess what happened to me!" shocker stories when things went badly. No recent horror stories to report, except a guy did try to hit on me by holding my hand, tracing its curves, and reading my palm. The good news is that I have a long life line. After the second hug in only a few minutes, I decided to walk away.

One of my friends told me that Lubbock is so small and incestuous, if you haven't met the person you're going to marry by age 14, you're out of luck in this pond. Where does that leave me? Waiting for Providence to put someone amazing in my path? Should I look online? I'm not looking to get married tomorrow, but I do want a boyfriend to spoil. I figure I can dispatch my lovely friends to find a man worthy of me. I'm probably pickier than ever about what I'm looking for.

Lemon Meringue PieWhen I'm scouring my usual sources for a recipe, I do have my mental list of recipe deal breakers: "Whether for reasons practical or psychological, even the most experienced cooks have an ingredient, technique or phrase that will make them bypass a recipe...ingredients or instructions that make them throw down the whisk and walk away." Right now, for example, I'm eschewing anything calling for egg yolks, because I already have what feels like dozens of egg whites waiting for their chance to shine in an angel food cake, meringue, frosting, etc.

In the same vein, most people have a few deal breakers in mind as far as characteristics they couldn't tolerate in a significant other. I've been giving some thought lately as to what mine are, and also what traits I possess that are on the guys' lists. I'm trying to perceive myself the way someone that has just met me will. Some men are downright helpful with that self-analysis. Actual comments of late:
"You dance like Elaine."

"I've only seen you three times in the last couple of weeks and you've worn that shirt twice." [In my defense, he was mistaken, but yeah, maybe I need to cut back on the turquoise-colored shirts.]

Several remarks about not being allowed to help in the kitchen and how I stare at people who are eating my cooking.
As for my own deal breakers, I have a few I'll disclose:
I have a Dilbert calendar and Dilbert candy dispenser on my desk. Dude's gotta be a nerd.

I would probably dump a guy that was unwilling to watch old movies and listen to old music. I'll go a step further and say he probably even has to like it.

If I found out a guy had unique eating habits, e.g., is vegan, pescetarian, juicearian, or only eats on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday, I'd say "More power to you, but I think we're too different to make this work. It's not you. It's me." I don't think I could be with a dieter. He'd have no fun in my world that revolves around trying new foods. I went out a few times with a guy who was allergic to nuts. I always knew that could never work out. How could I be with someone who can't eat peanut butter?

I think next month I'm going to have another Still Single Shower. Are you allowed to have more than one? What should be on the menu? Any requests?

What are your deal breakers? Recipe, dating, or otherwise?


JaneHeiress said...

I'm glad you finally broke down and wrote about palmreader--I thought I was going to have to!

I don't think I could venture to name any deal breakers, because chances are I would end up with someone who has them all.

wendy v. said...

If you're looking for Waldo I think Lubbock is not the ideal location. I think mostly he's been known for hanging out in space, at the beach, or with the Egyptians.

Kimberly said...

I forgot to mention that palmreader told me I had "the most adorable crooked smile." I should have put that in my list of recent comments that are going to put me in therapy.

Catherine said...

What's wrong with a crooked smile?