Keep It Real

It's pretty sad that acquaintances identify food snobbery as my most dominant characteristic, but I guess I brought that on myself. I shouldn't be so condescending, but I feel that if people only knew how bad/gross/synthetic the food they're ingesting is, they'd soon change their ways.

Take store-bought ice cream for example. There's no excuse for buying most of that stuff. There are some premium brands that are very good, but even those don't compare with homemade.

I recently cleaned out my freezer, and I had peach ice cream left over from my Baked Alaska experiment. The stuff was past its prime (it was never that good anyway) and had to go.



I set the ice cream carton on the counter, thinking that it would be better for me to melt the ice cream and pour it down the drain, instead of tossing the whole thing in the garbage to leak onto my floor. So I set the carton on the counter and waited for it to melt. And waited. And waited.



I don't remember how long I left that carton on the counter. After seeing that it didn't melt after a couple of hours, I probably left it out for at least twenty-four, being fascinated at the non-melting properties of this Franken-ice cream. Yuck! That is not something I would eat again.

I saw this related horrifying 12-day Cool Whip experiment. My friends, Cool Whip is not whipped cream! Nasty, nasty stuff.

This also reminded me of the McDonald's hamburger purchased in 1996 that in 2008 looked exactly the same as the day it was purchased! I can't believe there are adults who regularly eat fast food or at all-you-can eat buffets. I'd suspect most employees who work at those "restaurants" don't know anything about cooking. I'm sure they have other life skills. This winner worked at Lin's Chinese Buffet.

I don't think I'm a food snob. This is a better way to live.

White Wedding

I dreamed that Betty White made a cameo (that woman is everywhere these days) at Wendy's wedding reception. She wore a pink dress suit that was perfectly accessorized. She looked great. Really, a visit from Betty White is the only thing that could have made Wendy's wedding any better.



There was a simple ceremony in the morning and a family dinner in the evening. I made the wedding cake and failed to fully consider the amount of time required to get my hair done, get myself into a fancy dress, and get to the church on time for pictures. The cake didn't get quite enough chill time in the fridge.

I sent one tier of the cake with my dad in Katie and Porter's car, I put one in my trunk, and I held the small tier in my right hand as I drove to the reception site. I drove super super slowly and took an alternate route to avoid a construction zone. Yeah, I know it's probably dangerous, but I transport cakes that way a lot. Guess what, when you live alone and are transporting a cake, sometimes you have to take risks. That's also pretty much the only time I drive at or below the speed limit. Apologies to the drivers behind me -



(That's not my car, but it's a brilliant idea.) The cake arrived safely. It didn't collapse on assembly, which was a relief since the frosting and filling were soft from the heat.



Wendy's Wedding Cake was a yellow cake with lemon curd filling and vanilla buttercream frosting dyed yellow, decorated with gum paste daisies.



Katie, Mom, and I had fun making the daisies. We simplified these instructions for Gum Paste Daisies from the King Arthur Flour Blog. I bought a package of pre-made gum paste. We rolled it out and cut out daisies with a daisy cutter. Then we added yellow paste food coloring to a smaller piece of gum paste and rolled it into small balls. We then flattened the balls and covered them in cornmeal. Voilà - pollen! Then we pasted the yellow centers on the flowers.



Another great cake. Another great brother-in-law joins the family. Another happy wedding!

Pork Is a Nice, Sweet Meat

I decided to try pescetarianism (eat seafood, but no mammals or birds) for awhile. A short while. Turned out to be only two weeks. The problem wasn't so much that I missed eating chicken or cheeseburgers. Or that I had gone about misspelling pescetarian as pescatarian. Alas, I began to experience heart palpitations, and since I am not in love that I know of, except perhaps with Lee Pace after my weekend Pushing Daisies marathon, I attributed the flutters to my change in diet.

So I decided to fall off the wagon with a pork salad, which created a gentle enough thud, being mostly tortilla, rice, beans, cilantro, lime, guacamole, dairy, and just a little of that sweet, sweet slow roasted pork.



I feel fine with the relapse.

Pull Yourself up by Your Apron Strings

Mike is my photography mentor. When we met, I possessed only a lowly Canon PowerShot A550, but my photography has improved under his tutelage. I am his foodie mentor. When I met him, he was a steak and potatoes kind of guy, whose favorite dessert was a chocolate-peanut butter no-bake cookie. He still loves all of those. You can't change a man.

I've entered a couple of cooking contests with Mike now. Neither of which we've won. If I can't even pull out a victory in his office cooking contests, I might as well hang up my apron.

First, there was a salsa and queso contest, in which we entered a Roasted Tomatillo Salsa and Queso Flameado.




Mike said I went overboard with the lime in the salsa, and I sadly agreed with him. After the judging, when our salsa and queso placed in the middle of the pack, he said that his office-mates prefer food out of a jar anyway, and I happily agreed with him.



The real blow came when I baked two identical white cakes with raspberry filling and vanilla buttercream to enter in the office baking contest and charity auction. The top two awards were announced, and my cake was not named among the victors. Perhaps from now on, I should be the one to take pictures and not take the cake.

April Fool's

I made another pilgrimage to Cake this week. Their cupcakes are so delightful. On April 1st, they had April Fool's Day Cupcakes.

• Spaghetti and Meatballs (red velvet cake, Rocher hazelnut truffle for the meatball, and strawberry jelly for the sauce)
• Lox and Bagels (lemon poppy seed cake, and I think the bagel was a halved donut hole)

• Potatoes and Gravy (caramel cake)

I didn't eat or even sample all twelve cupcakes I bought, which I've actually done before. I only tried the lox and bagels cupcake. Very tasty! I ran into a friend in the store as I was leaving. She had never been to Cake before, and I'm sure she was embarrassed to be seen talking to me. I had twelve cupcakes in hand, and I was going on and on about how wonderful their cupcakes are, and naming and describing the flavors she just had to try. I've gotta stop hitting the desserts so hard.

Pithy Comments

I came home with lemon curd and meringue in my hair. As you can imagine, it was my kind of party. This one involved making lemon meringue cupcakes with my friend Catherine and her two young daughters, Hannah and Eve. We used Martha Stewart's recipe.



It was fun to cook with Hannah. We juiced and zested lemons together. I always like to ask Hannah questions. I had told her about zest of a fruit, how it's the colored part. Later I asked her about it again, "What was that stuff called? It started with a Z." She said, "Zebra?" I would hold Eve up high so she could see what was happening, too. After dinner, Hannah had ice cream for dessert. I asked Hannah, "How would you describe ice cream to someone who had never tasted it? What would you say to them?" She thought for a moment and simply said, "I would say, try it!" So pretty much kids always outsmart me.

I love those girls. After making cupcakes, I stayed to eat dinner with them. I brought a Panna Cotta covered with strawberries for dessert.



Strawberries are Hannah's favorite!

Almond Croissant

Behold, ye almond croissant.


Here's the simple recipe from Epicurious: Twice-Baked Almond Croissants. Start with day old croissants. At United, four smallish-sized croissants cost $4.99. At that price, I might have to start making my own, no matter how laborious the process. The recipe gives instructions for an orange-vanilla syrup and an almond filling, made of butter, sugar, almonds, almond paste, and egg.


Four steps to assembling the croissants for baking:

1. Slice croissants in half lengthwise.
2. Brush vanilla-orange syrup on both halves of croissants.
3. Spread almond filling on one half of each croissant, mounding filling high in the middle.
4. Spread filling on top of croissant, and press toasted almonds into filling.

I might have eaten one for dinner alongside strawberries and salted caramel hot chocolate. That soft almond filling oozes out on the first bite. Yum!

Lenten Lunch

A few Fridays ago, I ate lunch with two of my favorite coworkers, who are truthfully two of my favorite people period. We ate a meat-free meal of fruit and cheese sandwiches and salad, but I heard no cries of "Where's the beef?"

We had Brie Peach Sandwiches, which had both fresh peaches and peach preserves. I may have gone a little overboard in my jelly shopping.



I conducted a purely unscientific taste test of the preserves to see which I preferred, and I could not choose between the Peach Bonnet Jelly and the Hot Pepper Peach Preserves. Each had their own strengths. Their only weakness in my eyes was that each jar cost over $5. In the end, I used the preserves for the Brie Peach sandwich, because I liked the texture the peach pieces lent.



The Brie Peach Sandwiches consisted of sliced brie; a mixture of peach preserves, fresh peaches, green onion, raspberry vinegar, and pepper; spread along with mayonnaise on oatmeal bread.



We tried a pear and brie panini inspired by this Chowhound post, too. This sandwich had brie, sliced pears, arugula mayonnaise pesto, and candied walnuts on country french bread, toasted in my grill pan. I modified an Emeril recipe for arugula pesto, substituting arugula for the basil.

We also ate a salad of mixed lettuces, with a Maple Syrup Dressing. With meals like that, I could definitely be a vegetarian, if I didn't love meat so much.

Eliane French Bakery

One of the chief impediments to my happiness in Lubbock is the lack of a really great bakery in this town. We are limited to grocery bakeries, donut shops, cupcakeries, and a couple of other pretenders. Ideally, we would have a little French bakery where I could grab a croissant in the mornings before taking the subway to work. But we have neither the subway nor the bakery.

When I was in Provo, I visited a wonderful bakery, Eliane French Bakery, for breakfast. They don't have a website that I know of. I imagine that it's because they don't speak English very well and that's how authentic the French bakery is. But I imagine a lot of things. I'm a romantic.



Wendy and I sampled a few things. First, the pain au chocolat, which was amazing, and second, the croque-monsieur, which was equally amazing.



A croque-monsieur is a ham sandwich with cheese. Typically the sandwich is covered in a Mornay sauce and grilled or broiled. When I made a croque-madame, a croque-monsieur with a fried egg on top, I made the Mornay with Gruyere. The croque at Eliane's had cheese on top, but not in a thick sauce, and the cheese was melted but a little crunchy. Magnifique.

We saved the best for last. The best was an almond croissant. The almond croissant at Choice Market in Brooklyn was among the best food I ate in New York. However, Eliane's had it beat.





Almond croissants are similar to regular croissants, but they have an almond filling and are usually covered in toasted almonds and powdered sugar. Here's a recipe for them that I intend to try soon.

In the interest of full disclosure, I bought the croissant to take back to Mom, who elected not to go to the bakery with Wendy and me. You know what they say about the best laid plans. I thought I could take one bite and stop, and Mom wouldn't mind if I tried her croissant. However, one bite of the croissant with its creamy almond filing, and I was hooked. I corrupted Wendy with it, too. Then I started rationalizing: "Mom won't know we were going to bring her this," and "Well, Mom could have come with us." By the time I'd finished rationalizing and eating, there was only half a croissant left. Sorry, Mom, I know you raised us better.

Blue Sky Smiling at Me

A new burger place called Blue Sky opened at 98th & Quaker a few weeks ago. The first time I ate there, I had to park across the street, because the parking lot was filled to overflowing. Lubbock may not support the arts, but beef is a different matter.



I tried their green chile cheeseburger, and it was fabulous. The green chiles do come on the side in a cup, not pre-slathered on the patty, but I was okay with that. The burger is very big, and the bun is fresh and soft, so this is definitely a burger you have to hold with both hands. I also tried their onion rings and fried chile sticks (fried anaheim peppers), which were completely new to me. I thought the fried chile sticks would taste good on a burger, so I had to try it, and I can confirm that they are in fact as good on the burger as on the side.

Blue Sky started in Amarillo and expanded to Lubbock. The Lubbock location has a mural on the wall of the Lubbock skyline and cotton strippers, which of course made me feel right at home. I'm digging that there are decent restaurants opening on 98th St, because previously the selection was limited to 7-11 convenience stores, and I hit my lifetime quota of Twinkies in the 80s.