April 13, 2008
After coming upon the Koolickles recipe yesterday, I decided that I needed to make a jar of those part of Dad's birthday present. On my United excursion, I looked for a gallon size jar of dill pickles, but the biggest jar they carried was a 46 oz. jar. This would never do.
I decided to go somewhere where you can buy the kind of junk that no one needs, like a gallon size jar of dill pickles, and where else would you find that but Wal-Mart? My employer seems to be especially fond of incentivizing its employees by doling out gift cards for Wal-Mart, and so I had an old one in my wallet that I hadn't given away or cut into small pieces. A free gallon jar of pickles? That's gold!
So I moseyed about Wal-Mart, hoping no one I know would spot me, which would be bad for my Wal-Mart boycotting-rep. I passed a trio of young adults in Tech garb. A guy in the group said, "Sweet Home Alabama is really a good movie." It was all just as I imagined it would be.
I wandered around a few extra minutes looking to see if Wal-Mart had any obscure foodstuffs that I can't find at United. I wondered how much of America's retail grocery space consists of Wal-Mart shelves. It must be a staggering number. Then I found my gallon jar of pickles and proceeded to the register. $3.49 for a gallon of pickles. My gift card didn't work when I swiped it. I handed it to the cashier, who swiped it herself and also tried entering the gift card number manually. I decided I could spring for the pickles, but I paid in cash so the evil empire couldn't trail me.
By the way, pickle juice + cherry Kool-Aid mix + sugar is delicious. I'll let you know in a week how the Koolickles turn out. Then we'll have to start experimenting with flavors. I might open a roadside stand as long as Wal-Mart is around to supply the pickles. As I like to say, keep Lubbock boring: support big box stores and chain restaurants.*