Rotten Sneakers

I love this CNN story: Katherine Tuck "out-ranked six other children to win $2,500 in the 32nd annual National Odor-Eaters Rotten Sneaker Contest, stinking up the joint with a pair of well-worn 1½-year-old Nikes so noxious they had the judges wincing." Apparently this seventh grader "used the sneakers to play soccer and basketball, hiked in them, even waded into the Great Salt Lake, where they were infiltrated by brine shrimp."

I could give her a run for her money. I think I've had my Nikes since before the turn of the century. They've given me blisters before, and they have holes in them and you can see what color my socks are.

It is time for me to buy new tennis shoes. Tonight I walked three miles around a park by my house. I decided that this might be the hot new place for me to meet guys. First, I don't know about you, but I'm usually looking pretty rough when I walk/exercise/sweat, so if the guy can look past that, he's a keeper. If a guy sees you in full daylight and is still interested, you're in. Second, the guys hitting the track at the park are probably as frugal as I am and not into paying big bucks for a gym membership. Third, I'll know if the guy has a dog or not. Since I'm not a dog lover, it's important to me to find a guy walking without a dog, and what dog owner goes for a walk without his pet? These are the weird things I ponder on while walking, since I don't have an iPod.

Tonight a guy saw my "Cooper Track" T-shirt and asked if I was on the team. I retorted that there is no track team in the universe that would have me on its team. Maybe I should head back to the softer light of the grocery store and the grocery cart behind which to hide my girlish figure and my self-consciousness.

That reminds me of another time when I had just finished exercising and was walking out of the Tech Rec Center. A guy walking towards me said, "Whatever," chuckled, and walked past me. I immediately knew he must be thinking I should have cut back on the ice cream and pizza and hit the gym a bit more. Then I realized he was commenting on my T-shirt with this print: